Are you still running with Ahmaud?

Are you still running with Ahmaud?  Are you saying George Floyd’s name and posting his picture?  Or have you been silent?  The world is on fire.  It has always been on fire, you just couldn’t see the smoke or feel the flames until now.  This isn’t new.  We are just seeing a better camera angle now.  Maybe you had no comments until the peaceful protests turned to riots.  I am going to challenge you to dig deeper.  Explore every option.  Look at the world through more than the lens you are used to.  As a Christian, we are called to more than passiveness. 

Putting this into words has been a real struggle.  See, I am a mom.  And I see everything through my mommy glasses now.  On an intellectual level I can understand history and oppression. I teach this stuff.   I can articulate facts quite well.  I have dug deep into real American and world history. I have a wealth of knowledge.  But right now, right now I am just a mom.  A white mom who is breaking on the inside for my sisters who have black sons. 

These two men, they were once someone’s adorable little boy once.  And when I look at them, I see the sweet little black boys I know.   I see my students; the kids I call my kids. I see their smiles, their character, their hearts. And frankly, I am terrified for them to become adult men.  Not just men, but black men.  Not because becoming a man will change who they are in any way, but it will change the way the world looks at them.  They will instantly become a threat.  Their words won’t matter.  Their character won’t matter.  Their education won’t matter.  The way they treat others won’t matter.  Who they are will NOT matter.  What will matter is the color of their skin.

As a mom I think of all the fears that I have for my children.  My irrational mommy fears.  The ones that will likely never happen.  But the fears I have for my children will never compare to that of a mother of a black child.  And while my fears are irrational, her fears are not. 

What happened to these men, is not a fear I live with every day.  When I look at my kids, I don’t worry that what happened to Ahmaud is going to happen to my child.  Here in our country a black man can do everything “right” by society standards and still end up dead. 

All over the internet I see people posting about running with Ahmaud.  Which is great, don’t get me wrong.  But are you still running with Ahmaud tomorrow?  What about next week?  Next month?  Or is this going to float into the distance as you move on with your life.  Will the images of George fade from your mind?  You have that ability.  You can feel good about yourself for doing “your part” to make the world a better place and then move on to something else.  I could do that too.  Why, because it is part of our privilege. 

There is that word. Privilege.  The word that us white people hate.  And before you attack me with your laundry list of reasons as to why you are not privileged, I will give you my own list.  See, I didn’t grow up with money.  I had to work hard for every accomplishment I have.  Nothing was ever handed to me, ever.  And yet, I can still understand that I do have white privilege.  The pure fact that I can be outraged by something and simply move on, demonstrates that. 

I am not down playing the support for Ahmaud by running.  Awareness is extremely important.  But see awareness is for us, because the black community is already well aware.  These events, on video, may have completely rocked your world.  It changed your sense of what you thought America was.  It challenged your concept of “everything is good now that the civil rights movement happened.”  It forced you out of your safe, privileged box for a minute.  And what you saw was frightening.    And before you could blink from Ahmaud, George Floyd was MURDERED.  But please understand that these are not isolated incidents.

If you find yourself trying to make some kind of excuse for those men, or the police officers, you are part of the problem.  Actually, we all are.  We all have benefited from a country that was built on the backs of enslaved people and stolen land.  We didn’t personally have to enslave someone or have family that did to have benefited.  The fact that you can stop reading this, forget everything you have seen, heard, or learned and move on with your life proves it. 

Maybe you try to justify these crimes because it is too hard to see what is really there.  But before you justify any of the past murders of black Americans or the future ones, because this will happen again; picture the man who is the most important in your life and put him in George Floyd’s position. Now tell me what crime he could commit where you feel that he would deserve what happened to George.  I bet you can’t think of one.  When things become personal we see them through a different lens. 

Further evidence: Let’s talk about Ahmaud.  Why were these two men arrested?  It wasn’t because the police saw the video.  It was because WE SAW THE VIDEO.  The American public was outraged and demanded justice.  So, charges were filed.  Just process that.  They had the video.  They saw what we did.  And they were doing nothing about it.  Where is the justice?  Do you think the same thing would have happened if it was a white man out running and he was gunned down by two black men?  And just because charges were filed doesn’t mean a conviction will happen. 

This is reality.  In August of 2014 a teenage black boy was lynched from a swing set for dating a white girl in North Carolina.  Never classified as a lynching or a hate crime.  His name was Lennon Lacy.  He is someone’s son.  He is a human being created by God.  Knit together in his mother’s womb.  He is dead because he was black.  His name deserves to be said. 

Does hearing “Black Lives Matter” instantly make you want to say “All Lives matter?”  Yes, all lives matter, you are right but see our lives as white people have always mattered and continue to matter.  They don’t matter any less by pointing out that Black Lives Matter.  See, it isn’t about us.  It is about the fact that in our society Black Lives have not mattered the same as white lives.  And they still don’t.  Do you see the problem here?  By saying “Black Lives Matter” I am not diminishing white lives, I am elevating Black lives to the equality they deserve. 

As we know, as Christians, we are ALL made in the image of God.  That includes are Black brothers and sisters. I was once one of those people who thought that color blind was the right way to go.  Who thought that just being reminded that all lives are important was the way to heal all the wounds and promote equality. 

I had to learn, to be uncomfortable, to be sickened.  And I can admit I still have so much to learn. It is hard.  It is painful to understand true American History.  To see how our country was built.  To understand my privilege.  It is uncomfortable.  But the fact that I can walk away from it, that I never really had to learn any of this, that I could just stay in my safe bubble, is privilege.  Even knowing all that I know, I can still choose to do nothing.  Put my blinders back on, and just move on with my life.  That is the privilege I wear.  That you wear. 

Where do I start with change? Prayer.  I am raising 3 little people that I pray will be a force for change in this world.  I pray for guidance as I teach them and equip them with what they need to be a better generation.  I pray we are starting a ripple effect that will make real change and bring about true justice.  I continue to educate myself.  I will use the voice God has given me.  I will risk losing friends.  I will risk being uncomfortable. Because, nothing I risk will ever be enough or even being to be comparable.  No pain I feel will ever be enough.  I could dedicate my whole life and it would still never be enough. 

As a Christian, you should love your neighbor as yourself.  Jesus commanded this.  There is no wiggle room on this one.  So how are you loving your African American neighbors? 

So, my question for you is: What is your next step?  Do you have one? Do you want one?  Are you ready to learn? There is still a long way to go for equality in this country.  These murders demonstrate that.  Are you coming along for the journey ahead?  It isn’t going to be easy.  You may lose some friends, maybe even some family members.  But Jesus doesn’t tell us being true Christians and doing his work on earth is going to be easy.  Matthew 10 tells us this.  So, are you ready?  Or are you done running? 

For next steps and more resources check on the page I have created and will continue to add resources to https://christianmomonfire.blogspot.com/2020/06/change-agents-resources.html